Among the smiling, laughing, and razor-blade winged butterflies

 There are those moments in your life when you believe you've found someone who you absolutely cannot live without and then you realize that as much as you want it to happen that they just don't want you as much as you want them. Or at all for that matter. 
  It kills you inside to know that they don't want you, even the tiniest bit. Then there is everyone else, everyone else who says they want you, even though you know they really only want one thing and you're not interested. THEN, there are you friends who love you and tell you 'if this is them and you love them hold on. Don't let go, it'll work out in the end.' even though, in reality no one knows what's going to happen, if it's going to work out, or who you're going to end up with in the end. Or even for a little while. 
  It isn't about knowing, forsure, who you are going to end up with. It's about opening up your heart and not fearing the possible pain that the person could cause you because when you love someone you trust them enough not to hurt you. Often times you will regret that at some point. You feel like if they loved you they wouldn't hurt you, or they wouldn't be doing this. But you honestly, you don't know what's happening in their mind, when they see you or hear your name or even talk to their friends about you. You don't know what's happening behind those eyes everytime they look at you or another person. For all you know you could be their person as well but it isn't the right time to find out for sure or not.
  After promising someone something and you promise you won't go anywhere and then they go, well, everywhere. You wait and wait because, simply there isnt anyone else who makes you smile or laugh they way they do. There isn't anyone else who makes you feel like the sun is constantly shinning on you when they're around, so you wait. You wait, and wait and wait because you love them and you want them and you're willing to wait for them. When suddenly, out of the blue, someone who you didnt think you'd ever want to spend a long amount of time around let alone make you laugh, begins to make you laugh. And unexpectedly they smile at you and you get butterflies, butterflies no one except that one person has ever given you. At first you really don't like it, it makes you angry, you don't like that someone else has done this. It's almost a crime. But you see them more and you realize maybe it isn't all that bad and maybe you don't mind it. 
  You still love the person you've been after but while you're waiting for them you realize maybe it's okay to play at what they do and find someone else to spend time with.
 But you never know among-st the smiling, laughing, and razor-blade winged butterflies something else might happen and you might find someone who wants you, more than you'll be able to understand. Only way you'll find out is to loosen up, open up, and give someone else a chance.