Going Away is Great but Going Home is Better...

We all have those crazy wacky people in our lives. The ones wen we are around we can handle only so much of at a time and you wish (on more than one occasion) that you lived somewhere else, or better yet they did...But you are stuck with them being in the same neighborhood, town, school, or family as you and you cannot wait to leave and get away from them for a while...don't deny it, you know im right!
 But then you do go away, you do go somewere and you regret wishing that you were away from them because the crazy wacky people you are now around, far surpase the insane antics of the people that you are around on a daily basis and you realize how much you love the people you are around and you realize how much, even though you may complain how much you love being home and you love the people that make up your home.
  And sometimes it's like a slap to the face and you miss them so much it physically aches...

All Or Nothing

What does love mean to you? It means something different to everyone. Love can mean having someone there for you when you need someone, or having someone there to lean on when you are feeling weak. Or simple a best friend that knows you, the real you, the you that has no mask and hides nothing. One thing about love is: It Lasts!
  When you love someone...fall in love with someone you never stop loving them, whether you want to admit it or not there is always one part of you that doesn't stop loving them part of your heart that will always hold on to them and always want them in your life whether you know it or not.
  When you love someone you love THEM. All of them, not the goods part or just some of them or a little of them you love all of them their problems, issues, bad parts, good parts, everything. All of them, and if you love them you stay and work it out. You don't leave when all of a sudden things get a little difficult, you don't just up and leave when times get tough, when you love someone you stick through all of it to work through everything because you love them.
 Just remember, next time you tell someone you love them and you mean it in not simply as a friend but when you say 'I Love You' you aren't just saying three words you are saying: You mean the world to me, i never want to lose you, my world would be dull and gray without you, when i think about not having you in my life i can't breathe. You ARE my world and i cannot lose you and when we have problems i want to make them work. THAT is what you are saying when you say 'I Love You.'

Always There...

There are those people in your life that you have no idea what you would do without and then there are something that you would LOVE to have leave just so you would be able to see how amazing your life would be without them.
 There is always the feeling of love you have for your friends and family but there are always a few people that the feeling is stronger than when the others are concerned. When you begin caring too much it's called love and when you care too much for one person you begin to realize that you really to love them with your heart and soul and you fear ever loosing them, you can't breathe and you feel like the light has been stolen from your soul. Even when you want to, you can't stay mad at them and for the most part you don't want to be mad at them so in reality that works out perfectly...you don't want to see your future without them and it feels dark and cold even thinking about them not being there. Even when they aren't around you, there's that feeling of them always being there, always bringing a smile to your face, the butterflies to you stomach, and a glowing warm feeling to your heart. Either through a memory that you shared, a smile that they shot you or even when someone simply mentions their name, you just cant help but to completely light up. And you love the feeling of them always there. The caring, happiness and love you feel when they are around. Just remember that they arent always going to be around and you they aren't always going to be there. So you either need to never let them go or you need to cherish them while you have them.

Shinning Through The Rain...

Sometimes there are those moments where all you want to do is curl up in your bed, on your couch, or even on the floor with something ( or someone ) special...I've had alot of those moments lately. Not wanting to see the sun or see anyone...Only wanting to eat and sleep, wanting to be left alone but being terrified to be with only yourself...Then there are those moments after those long periods of time previously spoken of where a simple smile, hug, or small giggle mean the world and then the clouds begin to break for a while and you feel the warmth of the suns rays shinning down on you and you can't help but keep that smile going because feeling of the sun shinning on you makes you feel alive again instead of feeling like nothing matters and you're dying inside and no one knows. Those are the moments that matter the moments when you're with the person who means the world to you the person you cant imagine your life without, the moments when the people you mean the world to are surrounding you and you can't help but smile and allow those clouds to break...those moments are the only ones that matter, cherish those moments and the people that those moments that matter.

Life As We Know It..

Life. It's full of so many things, that deliver so many emotions. Many of them are good and many of them are bad, it isn't the emotions that cause either problems, unneeded stress, or joy in our lives it's how we handle those emotions. Life is a very long span of time where you can either flourish in the sun and wind or you can wither under the heat and opposing pressure; it is to the most literal sense YOUR choice on how you live you life. Yes, each person is dealt a hand but it is how you play your hand that leads to you going big or going home. Which do you want to choose? A lot of people have many opinions as to what others should do with their hand but never really think about their own hand until the last moment when their emotions and facial reactions give their hand away to the other players that are surrounding them. There are some surrounding players that will help you think about your next move and there are those who are going to go out of their way to make sure you misplay it.
  In life there is Truth and there is well...not truth which i suppose would be a number of adjectives...Deceit, Lies, Dishonesty...please be my guest on which to choose to explain your situation at hand. There are many people I can quote on this subject but two quotes stick out to me when i think of these things; one speaking of truth and the other speaking of dishonesty both of them are very wise quotes, no they are not from philosophers or professors or doctors talking about all of the things that could be wrong with us and to why we lie or tell the truth or get in other peoples ways of succeeding or just simply getting in your own way of succeeding. The first is a quote of Truth and Honesty by none other than Elvis Presley, The King himself. "The truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time but it ain't goin away." This is true. Very true actually. You can hide things and try to let the wind blow them behind the clouds, but it is only a matter of time before the clouds clear away and your truth is being shown to everyone whether you like it or not. The second quote is from a man that I consider myself blessed to not have been around when he was alive and ruling things as he thought they should be done. This quote gives some incite into his mind, which is a place that I never wish to be, ever. Adolf Hitler: "If you tell a lie Long Enough, Loud Enough, and Often Enough the people will begin to believe it." That quote is from his book Mein Kempf, ( Which I have read personally, for pleasure, in hopes of understanding him more, not as an assignment ). If you tell people things long enough not only will THEY begin to believe it but YOU will start to believe it and then you will have a hard time deciphering between fact and fiction.
  Which do you want? Do you want to hide everything behind the clouds or do you want to let the sun shine? Or! Do you want to tell people something Long Enough, Loud Enough and Often Enough that even you, yourself begin to get lost in your thoughts and lies? I personally think that letting the sun shine is always easier, now! It may not be the easiest at first but in the end it will be the easier route and you will realize that making the best out of your circumstances, playing your hand early and knowing your moves for the future and flourishing in the sun and the breeze is so much easier than letting the stress of your everyday life get to you so badly that you don't choose to play your hand until it's too late or letting the heat and the opposing winds destroy you. But that's just me, I'm no expert, and trust me on this one, I have done the later so many times it's difficult to count or remember and in the end I rediscover that it would be have been so much easier in the beginning just to let the sun shine.

  ~ A Katherine

A Momma's Love...

Alright people, we all have them...they are mothers and admit it, even if you don't want to admit it we love them no matter what and a Momma hug always makes things, just a little bit easier such as: a bad day at school, a boy cracks your heart a wee bit, you and your best friend are fighting, you don't like the teachers at school, you just need a shoulder to have someone listen to you complain about the things you don't want anyone knowing but need to get out...Mom's they are God's gift to us. Admit it, even if you really don't want to admit it, you love your momma.
  Some parents have the joy of having more then one little devil er i mean amazing blessing they call children and some are lucky enough or rather are blessed with simply one. The 'more than one child' parent loves their children just as much as the 'i have an only child' parent does, but the 'only child' parent becomes slightly more attatched. As the kids grow up the momma starts preparing herself for her baby-being a boy or girl-to start distancing themselves from them, liking members of the opposite sex, hanging out with friends, rebelling slightly, dating members of the opposite sex, finishing highschool and going to college but they are never really ready for it.
  Washington Irving once said "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsles to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts" this is all true...mothers are there for us when no one else is, and how do we repay her? We grow up and leave her home, the nest the safe place and roost that she so happily and passionately betowed on us. But! No matter how far we go we will never stop loving our mothers, ever...even if they don't believe us. Always will we love them.
  Some mothers, those of only children become used to having their child be very close to them, telling them almost everything and trusting them with our most secret thoughts. Our gossip and hurt and love and passion and pain, we trust them with it all and one day out of the blue we change, they don't, we do. We don't tell them everything anymore, I (from personal expericence) and not sure why but we do, and we grow away from them faster then either of us expected but us? We're just growing up, them? Well they feel like we are leaving them behind and forgetting about them. But never, and i say never will we ever be able to forget you, we have a special bond as Mother and Child (in my case Mother and Daughter) we could never forget you ever, even if we wanted to, you may think we are growing up and leaving you never to turn back and never to care again but we see, we see that if pains you that we don't tell you everything and we see that you think we are leaving you behind and living this extraordinary life without our mothers but that is so beyond far from the truth. we will love you and we always think about you. In the back of our minds but in the front of our hearts is "I wonder what momma would think now?"
  And do something special tell your momma you love her on a daily basis and tell her just for kicks and giggles, repeat yourself a million times, you may htink it bothers her but trust me, it doesn't she loves hearing those words and say it until she says it back even if she pretends like she doesn't want to hear it anymore, every time you say it, it makes her heart swell. Hug her lots and hang all over her and just breath in the scent of your momma and tell her there is no one else like her, sit with her and gossip or sit with her and just be. But most important tell her you will never forget her and tell her:

 Mommy, without you, i would be nothing like I am today. I would be not one bit of the person I am today and I want to thank you for everything you did to make it possible. Everything you worked through to make my life possible and comfortable, thank you for living with me when i am a complete monster and horrible and you still love me no matter what, thank you for getting in my face about school and making me want to care. Thank you for protecting me when no one else did and thank you for being there when others failed. But most of all thank you, for being you i love you with all my heart and i will love you until my dying day and eons beyond that, no matter what. No matter where i go and no matter where life carries me, no matter how much or little time i spend with you these days i am not forgetting you, you will always be in my heart and I do not know what i would do without you, and i pray i never have to find out. I love you momma, never forget that

Promises or Silly Words?

A lot of people use the term 'I Promise!' lightly, do you know what the definition of Promise is? "Promise: an undertaking or assurance given by one person to another agreeing or guaranteeing to do or give something, or not to do or give something, in the future" that's a pretty big undertaking if you ask me, most people don't really know the true meaning of a promise, so they throw it around and use it willy nilly; but then there are those some people who say 'I promise' and mean it. You (I am including myself in this, obviously) need to learn to weed out those who are saying I Promise to simply get something from you compared to those who say I Promise because they mean it and love you and want to carry out what they have said. But when you find someone who says 'I Promise' and you can tell that they aren't just silly words keep them close because you need to treasure them and Love them for their everything, their mistakes, past, messups in the future, you need to love them for their everythin; because if you say i promise i'm not going anywhere that is heavy stuff and you need to keep that promise to love them and be there for them till the end. Don't be one of the people that others need to weed out of their lives for silly words, be someone they want to keep in their like, because You Promised.

Complete and Utter Confusion?

Guys, I have a questions for you (when I say guys I don't mean in that whole 'hey guys!' i mean as in the male gender) why is it that you feel as though you can do whatever you wish? I'm just wondering, (and yes, i know girls are at fault for this too but this is not what that is about at the moment) why is it that you feel like you can have a girl on your arm, example the girl you slept with last night, nabbed their virginity, or your girlfriend, why is it that you can have them on your arm and alot of you (not all of you, but alot of you) feel like you have the right to hit on another girl, of flirt with another girl when yours isnt looking? Does that strike anyone else as wrong, or am I just old fashioned? That's always something that has baffled me, always you are with someone and evern when they aren't around you need to have the respect enough to not hit on other girls while she isn't around, and if you don't care about her enough to do that maybe you should think about ending the relationship and let her go so she can start a relationship with someone worth her time. But that's my thought, im probably just being old fashioned.

Stabbing, Lies, and Mistrust

Trust...what is trust? Trust (when used with as an object) : to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on. Why is it that the definition is so easy to read but it is so easy to obtain?
  Why is it so difficult for us to trust people, but when we finally begin to come around and trust them, even with them knowing that it took forever for them to gain your trust it is so easy for them to break it and destroy you? Why is it so simple for them to stab you in the back and mangle the trust you gave them.
  Guys, this is for you: On behalf of the female persuasion We are sorry! Not to all guys but to the good guys, who care about people who actually have a heart and care that others are hurting and have respect for others (and themselves for that matter). Girls, all alot of us (Yes including myself in that) ever do is talk about the awful, horrible, pig-ish guys but we take advantage of the guys who are sweet and respectful. The ones we keep as out friends because they are protective, sweet, kind, and caring but we dont think about what they feel most of the time. Girls have no right to talk about who this guy hurt her last week and this guy hurt her last month when you could just stop the hurting if you perhaps if you didn't hurt the one guy who actually cared about you and loved and cared about you for you and not for you looks or how you dress but loves your smile and your personality and your heart but you crushed him because you thought he just wanted something and he was pretending to be good and just trying to get something from you, when in reality you just threw away the best thing in your world because he was perfect.
  So girls, next time you think about why a guy has hurt you and why he was such  jerk, and you feel like he used you, just remember, he is keeping love at a distance, he pushed you away and hurt you before you have the chance to hurt him. Thats what people do when they have a problem with trust and they are doing simply what they have been taught.

~ A Katherine

friends && Friends

Despite what some people think there is a difference between friends. Not that whole 'a friend would do.... but a best friend....' no not that, there is simply the difference between types of friends. Yes, the best friends thing, brings up the point that you are closer to certain people than others, thus declaring them 'the best' but when it comes to friends there is a way to determine some things, and no I am not a professional this is simply from my point of view, and please if you don't agree do comment i'd live to hear your opnions. Anyhow, friends can be the people you are around daily, you hang out with during school or outside of school, you laugh with and talk to about all of the gossipy (is that a word?) thoughts...they will be there for you -sometimes- and when you need a smile you can call them up and get the smile you need; but a Friend, (and yes, the capital letter does make a difference) a Friend who you don't see as often as you would like, but someone you think about often, someone who you have made stellar memories together, and it doesn't matter how long you have been apart, you can pick up right where you left off. friends can be there when you need a little help or a smile but Friends are there through think and thin, and are more then just a grin or a chuckle they are a massive smile, like the ear to ear kinda deal. Thank you Friends for being for you but don't forget the friends you have around you too :-)

~ A Katherine

Torn Between Two Feelings...

Do you ever have those moments where you know that you really do not want to care but you for some very stupid reason can't help it? You had something at some point a friendship, a relationship and things didn't go as planned and you cannot stand the thought of the person but when you see them, you see how much pain they are in and you want to be happy that they are in pain, because maybe, just maybe they will know a tiny bit of the pain you felt when things didn't work out but as you look at them and see how miserable they are and that things aren't working out for them you do feel something but it isn't the happiness you thought you would have? It's pain, and a small hint of agony for the person because as much as you dislike them you can't help but remember the small attatchment you had for them and you reach out to help them...How do you feel when you see them next? Do you still feel the pain and hate toward that person or do you feel sorrow and some small amount of pity for them? You decide next time, you see them. Can you truely forgive someone, to get past your burning dislike for them or are you still dwelling on the past?

Love Actually...

Soooo someone i know asked a question a few days ago, that question was 'in your opinion what is love?' well what is your opinion? In my opinion love is a prescious treasure, something to be cherished. When you find someone who loves you or someone you love you need to cherish them and keep them, tell them every chance you have that you love them and that they mean the world to you. Love is, someone accepting you for all of your flaws, and not mentioning them at their every chance, finding that one person that makes your world feel whole, and makes you feel happier than you think you have ever been. Love is, not about how often you are with this person or how much you spend apart, it is everytime you do something it's the very moment that person comes to mind. Love is, accepting them or them accepting you for you, your flaws, past problems, furture problems, small emotional break downs. Fighting and making up and being stronger then you were before the fight. Love is, like the sun and like oxygen, when it's in your life you are flourishing and glowing in its warmth, but the moment you imagine yourself without them you cant breathe, you literally start to ache at the thought of losing them. The clouds are over you and it is like winter, and you are wilting a never ending winter, but when you come back to reality and discover they are still there and your sun is shining down more then before you can breathe easy and rejoyce in the glorious, warm, amazing, precious peice of treasure that is in your heart. And every chance you get you thank the heavens that you are in their heart and you pray you always will be. But! i'm no professional ;-)

~ A Katherine

Sunny Days

This ones gonna be kinda short: So first off, fun fact: It's snowing and it looks soo angelic, beautiful, and serene. Have you ever been around someone, that they just radiate energy? If so, have you ever just talked to someone whether it be over the phone, online, or texting that you can feel that energy. Lile the warmth of a thousand summer suns is shinning down on you? It's an amazing feel is you know what I am talking about, isn't it? Finding that one person who, even on the dreariest (spelling?) of days makes you feel like you are in the warmth of summer, and that warmth is shinning on you only? It's a glorious feeling.

Where Matters of the Heart and Mind Intertwine

Who wins out in the end? Your heart of your mind? Often the two are mixed together and it makes matter very difficult. Like for example why is it that girls (being the oh so confusing creatures we are) always fall for the jerks, morons, and awful guys and then wonder why i heart is aching later on? Why is it that we fall for the guys who are always sweet talking and trying to get something from us we run right toward them? We run right toward them and fall head over heals into their arms, and their hopes they will get something out of 'being there for you' and freak out when the word 'no' graces your lips? Yet we still fall for them everytime, and we fall for thief lies everytime they apologize both in mind and heart. Now the second part of this question, why do we run from the good guys? Why when a guy is sweet and tame and loving do we automatically assume there is something wrong with him? Someone who wants to break down the walls you have around your heart, and heal what others have done, and make you feel like you are the center of his world, why do we walk away from those? Your heart wants you to run full force to him but your mind is telling no, and for once, at the worst possible time we listen to it. There's food for thought, why do we assume flaws in those who actually want us and what's best for us, but we see no problems in the morons in our life and then we wonder why we hurt so badly after the entire affair. Think about that next time your mind screams 'no! don't do it run away immediately.' when all you want to do is give in a believe the one who makes your heart soar.